i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
