I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
