i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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