walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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