I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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