so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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