I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
