I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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