She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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