how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
