Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
