I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize