People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
