She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
