i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
