I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
