Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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