I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
