God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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