I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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