we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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