Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
