Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
