no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
