im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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