I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
