So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
