Midget sex pt 2 tonight
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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