Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
