4 words: hood of his car
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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