I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize