OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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