the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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