you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
