did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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