I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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