woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
