He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
