last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm way too hungover for life right now
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
