Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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