how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
