OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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