I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize