the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
