To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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