Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
