She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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