some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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