blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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