Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
