Ambien. No doubt about it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
