How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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