ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
