I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
