but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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