youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
