ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
