Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
