feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dicks are not precious.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
