know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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