i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
