Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
